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Time has been a weird subject for me ever since that first time I got hit by lightning.  almost 20 years of “things are looking very bad”.   Waiting for death can be as it turns out quite boring.

The urge to get off my keister and get moving on those last things I want to accomplish, is starting to get pressing.   Money wasn’t a problem before (but back then I had my looks to trade on).  Now I have my charm.  Which is only as good for bartering as my drive for doing set activity.

Now the “things are looking bad” has worsened.  Time to push my schedule up a little.

Sigh, I say this sigh with a bit of skepticism as it has gone from a life expectancy of 3 months (which turned into over 15 years) to 2 months.  I know the sarcastic bunch out there are probably thinking what I am thinking “big whoop”.

Some people would look at my life story and go that is one unlucky son of a gun.  Others would go wow that is some miracle.  Since I don’t believe in luck or miracles…  I am happy to continue as I have since I was told when I was 15.  Like every day is my last day.  It makes that kiss with my boyfriend more meaningful.  That glimpse of the sunrise/sunset that more beautiful.   The baser passions of my life more passionate.

uh better stop blabbing like this.

sigh.  So I have been looking into 3d modeling software.  For ease of making a monument.  I’ll just do it in chunks.  Scan a smaller version of my monument scale it up to the appropriate monumental size then make it in chunks.  The problem with this is that I really will need somewhere to store it/build it.  I have not yet decided what to do yet.  I may have a simpler time by joining some form of charity or religious group that just needs someone to do the work.  Which I would do happily.  If you are such a group don’t hesitate to contact me.


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